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Growing Pains

God am I tired…No amount of sleep can energize me: for the unknown that I seek, for the mud that I trudge, for to the ugliness that crowds the streets.

But I am tired…Because the pain means I’m growing and though it might not be showing I am hurdling obstacles and crushing impossible; pushing myself to the brink - it’s my instinct.

But I am still so tired…from all the noise and all the lights and the thoughts that keep me up at night and the ones that play in my head all day.

I’m exhausted…from entertaining and parading and masquerading around like the work is easy

Because it not; It’s hard and it’s draining but I keep from complaining because every word from my mouth reminds me what I’m facing.

I’m fading...and I start contemplating whether it’s all for nothing or I’m just anticipating this life I’m creating. Is it worth all the troubles I’ve been sustaining?

And I’m tired…and I’d really just like to stop living in waiting and rise with the world instead of sitting debating.

So I lay awake…because make no mistake, the world keeps spinning and whether I’m frowning or grinning, I am winning because no amount of wishing can stop me from finishing.

And even my tired eyes can see the finish line. No one can stop me from kicking and swimming.

It’s addicting…

And I’m sure it’s tiring; watching, admiring - when you find nothing inspiring

so please stop your chatter while we’re climbing the ladder because none of it matters; the imitation and hot air — couldn’t be flatter

But I still can’t sleep; Afraid the world is clawing at my feet. Afraid to be stuck. Afraid to be weak. And I’m winded and out of breath from running after happiness when I really just need to take a moment, to be proud, to be grateful, and be at peace.

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