True Love: The Difference Between a Marriage and a Wedding
I Watched My Brother Get Married and Took Him Out of His Box
It is second nature to categorize our lives. Everyone goes into a box. Every relationship has a label.
Family: Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister Friends: Secret Keeper, Drinking Buddy, Shopping Partner, Down for Anything Relationships: Love of My Life, Cheater, Bad Kisser, Too Nice Guy
And once they’re there, it’s hard sometimes to realize that they have their own lives outside of the roles we cast them in our own.
My brother has always been the: hardworking, reliable, caring, dopey, protecting, farmboy of our family. He never broke character, but when I walked down the aisle behind a trail of bridesmaids, I saw him standing there, smile like a crescent moon — beaming white light, happiness, from ear to ear, holding his breath for his bride-to-be.
I’ll never know or fully understand the love a couple shares behind closed doors; the late night conversations, the dream sharing, the soul searching, the rough patches. It’s a bond they share that should never be compared.
Judging couples on the way they appear at family functions and how they hold their liquor compared to the other SOs in your friend groups.
There have been times I have shaken my head in disbelief at past situations that I didn’t agree with. I have been judgmental — picking sides and saying “love is blind”. But I’ve learned something from their relationship over the years that I have been so reluctant to accept.
True Love is NOT Blind, It is Accepting
Looking at my brother that day I realized that real, true love is everything but blind.
It sees everything and chooses to stay. It is patient and kind. And it is accepting of all the imperfections the rest of us are not willing to. It is having faith in your partner when the world is planting seeds of doubt. It is knowing someone inside and out. It is effort with ease. It is wholehearted and confident.
True love recognizes everything, while the rest of us are blind.
And it commits to that truth by saying “I Do.”
His wedding was not a show. It was the perfect embodiment of their relationship together. It was authentic. Simplistic and beautiful; his taste merged with hers effortlessly.
But it wasn’t about the flowers, the dresses, the suites and boutonniere. Those elements make up a wedding — a party. It was about the marriage, the vows, the commitment. His ultimate faith in their ability to make it — til death do they part. His crescent moon smile and lobster red cheeks. His positive, true, love.
It was the most real expression of faith and romance I have ever seen.
It was pure in all the glory it deserved.
I can’t speak for either of them but if the endearment we all witnessed that day was even the tiniest bit as beautiful and real as it seemed, I know their love will remain true for the rest of their lives together — through all the rest of the milestones and put falls. You can’t watch your brother slow dance and sing the words to Then, by Brad Paisley and believe anything different.
At that moment, my brother moved himself into a new box. He assumed the role of a husband, lover, soul mate, and romantic man of her dreams.
I wish them all the happiness this life could possibly bring.