Nothing is ever what it seems or what we thought it would be.
I think we have these revelations with ourselves when we’re alone
I need to be happy with myself.
I need to focus more on my career.
I need to change everything that I was when I was with you.
I personally believe we feed ourselves these place holders to make getting over a loved one easier.
I was perfectly wonderful when I was with you and I will continue to be the same wonderful me without you.
This is what we should be telling ourselves, right?
Why do we think that giving our love to someone who didn’t accept it is a demerit on our record?
We fill our mind with these excuses as to why it didn’t work out in our favor, but why do we let these excuse (that we ultimately put on ourselves) define our past?
Its not about not being good enough. To be honest, we are all equal when it comes to love. We’re either naive or jaded. Usually one or the other, sometimes both.
Perfect relationships are fairytales, and we grow up thinking that, when it comes to love, our tales need to follow a certain order.
When I first started dating my boyfriend, I was so overly concerned with order.
We shouldn’t be saying I love you yet, its out of order.
We shouldn’t be sleeping together yet, its out of order.
We shouldn’t be, we shouldn’t be, we shouldn’t be.
We place too much emphasis on what should be and not on how things are.
You know you’re in love but its only been a month - who cares.
You know you’re in love but you haven’t labeled your relationship - who cares.
You know you’re in love but he doesn’t reciprocate (and you’re still in love anyway) - who cares.
We’re all so scared of how things should be that we ignore the reality.
Open your eyes. Step aside and look at life through someone else eyes. What would you see?
We all talk about what we wish would be true, and convince ourselves of it, but our truth may not be Ie truth.
Take off off those rose colored glasses you’ve been wearing in the name of love.
See the unanswered texts.
See the cancelled plans.
See the inconsistencies for what they are.
People make time for what they care about. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve talked for, how many dates we’ve gone on, or how many family members we’ve introduced them to. If they pull away, do not let excuses fill the holes your love story. Do not look for symbolism or arbitrary reasons for why your relationship ended.
He cheated.
He changed his mind.
His level of love was never the same as yours.
We're all capable of that everlasting, all encompassing, infatuating, can't live a moment without you, love. Unfortunately from what I've seen, we just don't know how to interpret the extent of someone else’s loves. People may give you pieces of themselves - great. Spend nights with you, or even mornings with you - even better. But if you aren't able to see them for who they are instead of who you want or wish them to be, you will always end up crying yourself to sleep asking yourself what you did wrong.
I want to encourage other twenty-somethings to believe in love, because it is out there and someone is out there capable of giving you the kind of love you need, but when we impose our expectations on someone (even if we don't say it out loud) we are endlessly setting ourselves up for disappointment.
Let your feeling be, but do not place blame on someone (or yourself), if they are not ready to take responsibility for them. You will be better off in the end. I'm not saying it won't hurt your heart, but healing is a part of life. Growing up, accepting, realizing truths.
You don't have to change your ideals, but you shouldn't try to alter anyone else’s in our, ever so complicated, quest for soul mates. Let someone go if they don't fit into your plan. Forcing anything, especially love, never works.
I hope anyone reading this does not think I am discouraging them from trying to make things work. I just think it's not worth the heartache to guilt someone into giving more than they are comfortable or capable of giving.
Do not be the victim of optimism.
What's meant to be will be, right?